Dear White / Non-Native Journalists: Sacheen Littlefeather Is Not Yours

Dear White / Non-Native Journalists: Sacheen Littlefeather Is Not Yours 

Not even a month after the death of Sacheen Littlefeather, biased claims about her Native heritage being a lie emerged with full force among white and Non-Native journalists. Even in death a Native woman is still a preferred, easy target for racists.

If you’ve spent any time on Native Twitter in the past week, you already know the current scandal surrounding Sacheen Littlefeather, who died October 2, 2022. 

Sacheen Littlefeather is best recognized for declining the award for Best Actor on behalf of Marlon Brando at the 1973 Academy Awards. In under one minute, she brought attention and awareness to the standoff at Wounded Knee, addressed the racism experienced by Natives in the film industry, and the racist portrayal of Natives in film and television. She was soft spoken, humble, diplomatic, and stood tall in her regalia against an industry and a country that viewed her as less than human.

She was promptly met with racism, violence, and was blacklisted from any Hollywood and television productions.

While Marlon Brando went on to make Last Tango In Paris, Superman, and Apocalypse Now, Littlefeather co-founded the American Indian AIDS Institute of San Francisco and the American Indian Registry for Performing Arts. She was a founding member of the Red Earth Indian Theatre Company, was present at the occupation of Alcatraz, and has served as an inspiration for Native Americans and First Nations peoples for decades especially in the film industry. 

Her message could not be ignored or overlooked, try as people might: she was called a stripper by Dennis Miller, the FBI threatened to shut down any production that hired her, and her name has been added to the notorious Pretendian List. Not even a month after her passing did the press leap at any opportunity to discredit and smear her name by publishing rumors about her lying about her Native Heritage. 

I will not use this blog to talk about Jacqueline Keeler except to condemn her decision to attend Littlefeather’s funeral. This is not journalism, this is not activism, this does not help the Indigenous community or help strive for better representation. It was malicious, vindictive, cruel, and disrespectful. Apart from that, there is nothing I could say that hasn’t already been discussed at length on Native Twitter by people far more knowledgeable of her career and her methods than I. 

Instead I want to focus on the many Non-Native and White journalists from magazines including (but not limited to) Metro UK, The Washington Times, Variety, Fox News, the Daily Mail, People Magazine, Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly who took it upon themselves to cover this story.

I will not link to their stories because I will not give them clicks. I advise you to do the same.

Who Gets To Tell This Story?

The short answer is: not you. If you are white and or not Native, you are not equipped to talk about who gets to be Native and who isn’t Native enough. If anything, you are part of the problem. It is never appropriate for you to tackle a story like this.

Blood Quantum laws have been used for generations to control, contain, and eventually “bleed out” Indigenous people. It is a government funded and controlled countdown to extinction that determines who is “Indian enough.” 

By blood quantum standards, my grandmother (my father’s mother) is 100% Chippewa (Anishinaabe / Ojibwe). My father is 50% (half) because his mother married a white man and had children with him. My sisters and I are 25% (¼)  because my father loved and married a white woman and had children with her. My sister’s children are 1/8th because she married a white man. While conversations and policies surrounding Blood Quantum are changing with each new generation, there was an understanding among my family for a long time that my sister’s children would not be considered Native American based Blood Quantum alone.

To an outsider this makes sense: A biracial Indigenous woman who looks like her white mother marries a white man and has biracial Indigenous children who look white as well. Since we live in an urban area far away from our grandmother’s home, we were separated from our culture and community. For a very long time we did not know if we had any surviving Native relatives. Assimilating into whiteness and choosing whiteness seemed like the only option for a very long time. Of course her children would be viewed as white. How could they be anything else?

Unless you are Native, you do not know how harmful and heartbreaking that situation is. And thankfully that conversation is changing. 

Regardless of what my niece and nephew look like, they have an Indigenous mother. They have a loving relationship with an Indigenous grandfather. Although my grandmother passed away when I was born, my sisters grew up with and were loved by their Indigenous grandmother and her Indigenous sister. Through the cousins I’ve met and reconnected with on the reserve, we can trace our family back nearly four generations before my grandmother was born. Culture and community is still just out of reach but more accessible now for my family than it ever has been before. My sister’s children are eligible for enrollment, something that would have been IMPOSSIBLE in the past.

When I address myself as Anishinaabe, Ojibwe, Indigenous, or Native, Non-Natives only accept it to an extent because of my whiteness. They have an easier time believing my heritage when they see me with my visibly not-white father. Whether or not I live up to their definition of what is and is not Indigenous is irrelevant: I am biologically Native but culturally white American, I live off of the reserve but was raised and loved by an Indigenous parent, I am the granddaughter of a residential school survivor, I cannot donate my eggs to certain programs because it would violate the Indian Child Welfare Act, the list goes on and on.

We can go into detail about the history of residential schools, the politics of enrollment and disenrollment, the history of Freedmen, the one-drop rule, and again the list goes on and on. This topic is complex and deeply personal and quite frankly it is nobody’s fucking business, least of all any Non-Native/White person’s. It is invasive, inappropriate, unethical, and a violation of one’s personal and private life especially if you are outside of the community.

A Non-Native, Non-White journalist will never understand this reality or this complexity. This is a conversation to be had within the community and among people who know what they are talking about. 

Sacheen Littlefeather is no different. Her identity is hers. Her story is hers. It is not yours. 

Are Some “Pretendians” Are More Palatable Than Others?

What disturbs me is the glee and delight of so many respected magazines “exposing” Sacheen Littlefeather for “lying.” This zeal and enthusiasm was dramatically absent from other Pretendians in recent years.

There was never this much vitriol towards Johnny Depp when he claimed to be Native based on literally nothing. He claims he was “possibly Cherokee or Creek’ and uses that to justify his own use of anti-Indigenous language to promote fragrances and to describe his own abusive behavior. He used his supposed Indigenous heritage to justify playing one of the most racist depictions of a Native American character in recent years. Rolling Stone, one of the first magazines to leap at the opportunity to smear Sacheen Littlefeather’s name, had Johnny Depp’s redface portrayal of Tonto on the cover of their magazine (see above). 

Taylor Lautner rose to infamy for playing Quileute character and love interest Jacob Black in the Twilight Saga film franchise. He is Dutch, French, and German and claims that his olive tone is from the French side of his family. He allegedly discovered that he might be Native based on “some Potawatomi and Ottawa Indian” on his mother’s side. This did not stop him from being cast in a Native role for five films that perpetuated their own racism and appropriation of an existing Indigenous group. 

Senator Elizabeth Warren, who earned a racist nickname from the Far Right, came under attack for claiming to be an American Indian in 1986. Despite the harm this caused, white liberals and Democrats defended and justified and excused her racism. Some celebrities like Mark Hamill brushed off the very legitimate criticisms made against her as the new “but her e-mails…”  The Far Right would have come for Warren regardless of her race faking, but they happily partook in anti-Native racism in order to tear her down. This does not harm a white woman in the same way it harms the Native people who had to read and hear about it for years. 

It is true that there is no shortage of people pretending and lying to be Native. They do this to make money, earn tenure, further their careers in entertainment or in politics. It is still happening to this day. Even in the event where the rumors are correct about Sacheen Littlefeather’s “Pretendianism,” we can agree that it was not to the same caliber as it is today. She was blacklisted for her activism. She could never work again. She did not benefit from it the way that Pretendians today benefit from it now. It is a false equivalency. 

So why was everybody so hungry for this smear campaign? Why did all of these magazines (most of which who can’t be bothered to celebrate or cover Native representation in recent years) leap at this opportunity to take a bite out of Sacheen Littlefeather? Why was there this sudden outpour of vilifying her even after her death when she couldn’t defend herself?

I think the answer is simple: 

White Journalists and White Media Are Threatened By Her Message.

Let’s be clear: the media is leaping at this opportunity because they didn’t like what she had to say the first time around.

Sacheen Littlefeather standing up in front of the entire world, dignified and beautiful, respectful but unwavering, made them too uncomfortable. They did not like being reminded of how the film industry, television, and Hollywood as a whole mistreats Indigenous people. She spoke her truth to an entire auditorium full of people who hated her, who booed her, who threatened her with violence. She said what she had to say, returned to her seat, and had to sit next to the people who viewed her as less than human. She was threatened with violence and was mocked afterward. 

They did not like her or her message. Not one bit. 

White people are comfortable with the idea of Nativeness so long as it doesn’t threaten them. They do not like Indigenous women who challenge that, no matter how polite, soft spoken, or diplomatic they are. If they don’t outright ignore what she has to say, they try to tear her down in any way they can. So many people within and outside of the film industry are complicit in anti-Native racism. 

It doesn’t surprise me that all of this came out in full force after The Academy finally apologized to her. It is no accident or coincidence that after the apology was made, people could not wait to find a way to ruin it.

So when the opportunity came to make a mockery of her again, they didn’t stop to consider the source or the motives of the people spreading the rumors behind Sacheen Littlefeather’s alleged “Pretendianism.” They didn’t care who the source was. They didn’t care that she showed up uninvited to Sacheen Littlefeather’s funeral and posted images and videos on Instagram. They didn’t care if it was biased journalism, spite, unethical, disrespectful, or cruel to the memory of the woman who walked on and the family and friends she left behind. 

 They moved in like ravenous wolves to tear down and capitalize on tarnishing the image of a dead Native woman. 

They sell their souls and their ethics for a paycheck every time, especially at the expense of dead Native women. 

If there is one thing to take away from all of this, look no further than Native Twitter. The fact that the community is showing up in numbers to defend Sacheen Littlefeather should speak for itself. 

Before a white person chimes in with “Natives aren’t a monolith!” in the comments: when Pretendians rear their ugly heads we are the first ones to speak out about it. 

We are the first ones to feel disappointment and betrayal when we find out we were lied to.

And while there are a few colleagues of Keeler who support what she did, the Natives among the 1700+ people that I follow on Twitter alone were NOT doing this with Sacheen Littlefeather. 

We did not roll our eyes and remind the white folks that “we’ve been telling you this!” or that “we’ve known all along!”

 We mourned her, we defended her, and we spoke our truth. 

We believed her. 

We still do.

POISON IVY [ but make it Indigenous ]

a poem by Ali Nahdee

Her people first protested peacefully
When the bulldozers came to their
Sacred grounds and ripped up
Their ancient graves to make room
For a pipeline 

And she bunkered down and 
Remained peaceful
When the military came in
And sicced dogs on her children
While firehoses tore the skin
From the bones of her elders

But when the SWAT teams 
Beat her Warriors with their batons
And their shields, and when their 
Pepper spray stole the sight and breath
Of her Matriarchs, and arrests were made
And prisoners were violently taken
Did Ivy finally realize 
That nobody was coming To save them.

The King of Atlantis slipped back
Beneath the waves 
The Man of Steel ascended to the sky
The Amazon Princess turned her fair cheek
And looked the other way
And the Dark Knight disappeared 
Like a shadow as black as the bag
That they forced over her head 

But when the sack was removed
And the light hit her eyes
Did she realize her prison was
Not a cell in Blackgate Penitentiary 
But a man camp set up near
The construction site, filled with
Native women and girls who went
Missing weeks ago

Panic crept in like a poison
And then burst out of her
Like a house with a gas leak
And Ivy went screaming and thrashing,
And biting and kicking and refused
To go quietly into that terrible night
When the Heroes looked away
Because Native Women don’t deserve
The luxury of Superheroes 
Coming to their rescue

Her ferocity was only stifled with a bullet
A bullet that should have killed her.
And if not the bullet, then the fall
From when they threw her down
Into the desecrated earth
The disturbed tombs of her ancestors
And if not the fall, then laying there
Among the bones of her grandparents
Soaked in the blood of her sisters
And aunties and cousins and nieces
THAT should have killed her

BUT IT DID NOT

Because if nobody is coming to save her
She will save herself
Because this story will not end
The way this world wants
A Native woman’s story to end:
In tears, in blood, in violence, in the gutter

NOT TODAY

The bones of her ancestors beneath her
Stabilizing her resolve 
Building her foundation 
The blood of her women
Swathing her like a babe 
In a cradleboard
A makeshift womb of the Matriarchs of Old
And the Fallen Daughters of Today 

THE BLOOD REMEMBERS

THE EARTH REMEMBERS

THE GHOSTS OF THE PAST REMEMBER 

AND THEY TELL YOU TO LIVE

MIGHTY WOMAN

THEY TELL YOU TO RISE

YOU DON’T GET TO DIE TONIGHT

BUT DEATH WILL BE HAD

Your homelands have blessed you
Your skin has transformed
Brown into Jade
Black hair into flames
Eyes of polished onyx 
Now the vibrant yellow of
Venomous beasts who grew tired
Of giving warnings to those
Who deserve death and decay

CLIMB FROM THIS MASS GRAVE

THESE GROUNDS ARE NOT YET YOUR TOMB

CLIMB UP TO YOUR FREEDOM

TO LIFE, TO REVENGE

The Earth breaks from under the camp
Plants entangle these killers,
These flies in a Black Widow’s web
Plant your seeds in their dirty mouths
And watch your blossoms burst 
From their ears and their eyes
Making flower pots of their skulls
Life born from death
Life born from continued genocide

Soldiers and workers breathe in the spores
Of your blooming flowers
Spores that fester and rot away at their skin and bones
A rash becomes a plague
That soon prepares a meal
For the worms 

Roots and vines grow strong
In the gears and wheels
Of their machines and armored vehicles
That defile the Earth the way
They tried to defile you
A condemned home will always
Return to nature and these
Hollow shells of destruction 
Will give way to growth and renewal 

Ivy left home and went to the front lines
With a red handprint over her mouth
And her fist in the air
Chanting “LAND BACK” and
“PROTECT THE SACRED”
And now Ivy returns with one message
To those who dare step foot on these lands:

“THIS LAND IS OUR LAND

AND YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE.”

When a Native Woman is deemed a villain
The colonizers would have her die like one
So wear your Crown of Feathers and Thorns
And watch these colonizers crumble

So long as Gotham City 
Stands upon Stolen Land
And heroes do nothing
In the face of Colonial Violence
Will Ivy do what needs to be done
In order to tear it all down.

“THIS LAND IS OUR LAND

AND YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE.”

My Statement on The Ali Nahdee Test

The Aila Test has been renamed to The Ali Nahdee Test

If you follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr, you know that I have decided to re-name The Aila Test to The Ali Nahdee Test. You may even know of the main reason for that change.  I’m not going to go into detail here. I don’t think it serves anybody for me to rehash that: what was said was said, the damage has been done, and honestly it’s not the worst possible scenario that could have happened. 

As far as the test itself is concerned, I would like to clear up any misunderstandings and misconceptions: The name change has nothing to do with Devery Jacobs, who is wonderful and has always been very supportive of the test. I still enthusiastically love Aila, Rhymes For Young Ghouls and Blood Quantum. If anything is to be taken away from the ordeal, it’s undeniable proof that you can separate the work from the creator and enjoy it as it stands on its own.

The Aila Test was an idea I had when I was living in Finland. Although it was inspired by the Bechdel Test, I didn’t want my name attached to it because I felt that a conversation about representing Native Women in mainstream media was bigger than just myself. Aila, played by Devery Jacobs in Rhymes For Young Ghouls, was the character that I wanted to celebrate and talk about. 

But as it gained more attention over the years, I wondered if I had made a mistake: by attaching Aila to the name of the Test, I felt as though the Test (in part) belonged to other people. Jeff Barnaby clearly felt similarly: he said that I was “using his work to market myself” and maybe there is some truth to that. It was always in the back of my mind because the Test itself is named after a character he created and who was brought to life by another person. She wasn’t my creation, she wasn’t from my story, I didn’t play her in the film, and while it isn’t necessarily textbook plagiarism, it still felt off. Something didn’t feel right, but the Test soon began to gain traction first on Tumblr, then on other social media platforms.

I tried to balance out my discomfort by always coming back to the film, the director, and the actress. With every interview or piece that featured me and The Aila Test, I made sure that credit went to Jeff Barnaby for creating the story and characters, and to Devery Jacobs for portraying the character. Any money made from The Aila Test was either a donation or for an interview specifically about me and my perspective: the Bechdel Cast invited me on their podcast twice and Shea Vassar, Dais Johnston and Jordan Fennell interviewed me.

 

Because I am making changes to all the social media handles that pertain to The Ali Nahdee Test, now seems to be the best time to make additional changes to the test itself:.

In order to pass The Ali Nahdee Test, the story must have:

1. An Indigenous woman who is a main character… 
   1. This includes ANY existing indigenous group as well as fictional Indigenous-coded characters
   2. This includes trans women / femmes
   3. Must be portrayed by an Indigenous actress if the story is live action

1. Who does not fall in love with a white man… 
   1. Love and sex are not the same thing
   2. Can fall in love with a white woman / Enby 

1. Who isn’t raped and does not die at any point in the story
   1. This includes before and after the events of the narrative

Originally I did not want to be too specific with my rules. It was more effective to keep it simple and allow people to ask questions. Native and non-Native folks alike were curious: I received messages and questions from people reflecting on the Native women they’ve seen in movies, television, video games, and other stories. How many of them met these requirements? How many didn’t? If they didn’t pass, were they still great characters? If they did pass, were they created by a non-Native writer? It was an interesting conversation starter that I hope changed a lot of minds. 

I did feel the need to specify that the Native woman cannot die as opposed to just being murdered. While the murder of Native women is still a disturbing recurring trope, it is equally truamatizing to see a Native woman die by suicide, overdose, sickness, “a broken heart,” among other causes. To pass the Test, she must live.

 Additionally, excluding white women from the romantic requirements felt important to me because I can only think of one specific romantic relationship between a Native woman and a White Woman in film. A same sex relationship with a white woman doesn’t carry the same historical weight as a heterosexual relationship with a white man. If anything, it could potentially serve for positive representation. And because the gender binary is a colonial invention, Trans Indigenous women can (and should!) pass The Ali Nahdee Test. 

At the center of The Ali Nahdee Test, no matter what name it goes by, is my desire to see real change in the stories we tell about Indigenous women.That is always the goal: I want Indigenous women and girls to see themselves represented in stories that make them feel proud and empowered. It isn’t healthy (or morally right) for young Native girls and women to see themselves degraded, humiliated, and re-traumatized.

I also want to see Indigenous women tell their own stories: seeing them in front of the camera is important, but Indigenous women working behind the camera is just as crucial, if not more so. The Test has its limits, it isn’t perfect, but as long as it’s part of the discussion and as long as good things come from it, that is the most important part.

The Aila Test did not disappear. As Shakespeare put it so beautifully, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”   I still want the conversation to continue even if it is under The Ali Nahdee Test. This is just a small piece of something bigger and I never expected it to resonate with so many people. For that reason, I don’t want to take it away from anyone.

 

I hope this will be an easy transition for all of us and more importantly, I hope it helps to inspire further changes in the stories we tell about Indigenous girls and women. 

Miigwech.

[[THE INDIAN // COOL GIRL ]]

by Ali Nahdee

“She’s an INDIAN,”
They gasp like children meeting Santa Claus
As if I were one of his elves,
A fantastical, mythological creature
“An Indian!” So rare! So mysterious!
There aren’t many of those around, you know!
They’re all dead so I can only be PART Indian

“She’s PART Indian!” they gaze in wonder
To them I am the living red Tin Man
Kept operational with an oil can
Full of Magical Indian blood
( the Tin Man isn’t considered part oil, though. )
I must be very special indeed to be part INDIAN.

White people don’t (often) say it
But I see the evidence of their bias
In the films they make, the company they keep
The jokes they laugh at, The art they collect,
The porn they jerk it to, All the things they say,
And all the things they won’t
No matter how liberal or open minded
There is only one kind of INDIAN they’re comfortable with
They like the idea of Wednesday on Thanksgiving
But they don’t want Wednesday on Thanksgiving
They want THE INDIAN as it makes sense to them

THE INDIAN is a white woman
With braided black hair and high cheekbones
Who sometimes has a nice tan
But never tan enough to be black or brown
THE INDIAN can have one ethnically ambiguous parent
(Preferably grandparent, who is preferably dead)
THE INDIAN wears their heritage like a pair of earrings
A statement, not an identity
But not too strong a statement
So as not to be divisive.

THE INDIAN can only exist in fragments
She has to be a friend first, INDIAN second
(Preferably third)
A girlfriend with a little sprinkle of INDIAN
A wife with a soft tint of INDIAN
She can’t be too much INDIAN for this crowd
Because Indians don’t have a seat at the table
Indians are buried beneath it
And you don’t want to be buried, do you?

“Oh no,” says THE INDIAN, “I would rather sit with you.”
So THE INDIAN shrugs at cultural appropriation
“Buy those dreamcatchers made in China!” says THE INDIAN
“Get the tattoo of the naked white woman in the warbonnet!”
“Buy that Halloween costume, wear that warpaint!”
“Tell me all about your Spirit Animal!”
It’s not wrong if THE INDIAN isn’t offended

“I’m part Indian too!”
“My grandma was part Indian!”
“My great grandmother married an Indian chief!”
THE INDIAN never tires of these stories.
It’s nice to know she’s not alone.
How lovely it is to be surrounded by so many Indians
THE INDIAN welcomes you into their culture

THE INDIAN knows when the outsider is the better Indian
THE INDIAN will happily give you their spouse
Their status as Chief or Warrior
Their seat on the Council
Their place in their society
THE INDIAN is happy you’re there to replace them
If you can’t save THE INDIAN
THE INDIAN will happily die for you
You are the best, after all

THE INDIAN loves that one Disney Princess
She sings every song with her whole chest
She praises the message of love and peace
She wouldn’t dare bring up history during Colors of the Wind
“Go ahead!” says THE INDIAN. “Dress up your daughters like her!”
She won’t remind you that this princess is
A raped, stolen, murdered woman
That version doesn’t have pretty songs and a happy ending
THE INDIAN doesn’t ruin Halloween or Disney movies for anyone!
Dress up your daughter like a raped child.
THE INDIAN won’t talk you out of it.

THE INDIAN doesn’t mind mascots
THE INDIAN is honored
THE INDIAN would happily chop her head off
And slap it on an NFL jersey for you
THE INDIAN is commercialized, one-dimensional, not that deep
THE INDIAN will happily smile and go with it.
You’re just honoring her, after all.

THE INDIAN is never angry or passionate
THE INDIAN is above such emotions
THE INDIAN is mystical, spiritual, otherworldly
“Yes, this is fine!” says THE INDIAN
“Sage your home! Use our medicine to reach enlightenment!”
THE INDIAN wouldn’t dare remind White Pagans
That these sacred items were once outlawed to her family
Punishable by imprisonment and abuse
By police and priests alike
Why would she?
Spirituality is for everyone!
Open your mind and your heart
THE INDIAN knows the importance of healing

In liberal spaces THE INDIAN understands
The honor of being invited there in the first place
“Racism is silly!” laughs Feminist Karen. “We were ALL immigrants once!”
“Yes, yes!” laughs THE INDIAN. “You’re so right!”
But that’s as far as they go on that topic
THE INDIAN wouldn’t think to bring up MMIW here
“That’s a RACE issue, not a WOMEN’S issue!” Feminist Karen would tell her.
“How silly of me to confuse the two!” laughs THE INDIAN.

The Gay Community welcomes THE INDIAN with open arms
So long as they’re allowed to call themselves Two Spirit
THE INDIAN won’t argue with their racist boyfriends
“We educate our family here!” says Sasha the Drag Queen
“Yes, yes we do!” agrees THE INDIAN
She wouldn’t dream of calling out Sasha’s boyfriend
For war whooping and dancing
In fringe panties and mukluks to Cher’s Halfbreed
It’s not a hate crime if it’s covered in rainbows and glitter
It’s just FABULOUS.

THE INDIAN is fine with non-Natives playing Indians
Maybe in Hollywood they have the red Tin Man’s oil can, too
Is Johnny Depp’s performance too wooden and stiff?
Drip a little Magical Indian Blood on him
It makes everything all better
It doesn’t set the Hollywood Indian back 50 years
THE INDIAN knows he’s one of us

THE INDIAN knows their place in society
Is better suited staying out of the way
Of mean, privileged white people
While consoling the nicer, privileged white people.
“No, no,” reassures THE INDIAN. “You weren’t racist.”
“I’m not offended by it.”
“There are bigger issues after all.”
“There are more important things.”
“I would never let politics get in between us!”

THE INDIAN loves to be corrected
“Yes, yes!” they agree, “It IS Native American, my bad!”
THE INDIAN knows that they speak for all Indians
Go to THE INDIAN for information about anything
THE INDIAN never tires of unending research
THE INDIAN loves to repeat herself over and over again
And she’ll do it all free of charge!

THE INDIAN doesn’t let something as trivial
As generational trauma get her down.
That happened so long ago, after all!
And if her research is ignored? That’s okay!
THE INDIAN is patient.
THE INDIAN knows to wait patiently for her turn.
Nobody overlooks Indians after all!

THE INDIAN loves comedy
THE INDIAN can take a joke!
“Remember white people! Columbus killed us!”
“Don’t forget to kill yourself an Injun this Thanksgiving!”
“Disney is your friend! The Indians wiped their own damn selves out!”
So funny. THE INDIAN certainly thinks so.
THE INDIAN can’t wait for the next joke!
Will it be about smallpox blankets this time?
Casinos, alcoholism and Wounded Knee?
If it’s about rising suicide rates
THE INDIAN might happily kill themselves
If it’ll make for a good punchline!
THE INDIAN thinks Indians dying is hysterical. Don’t you?

THE INDIAN understands that real trauma
Is being a white girl teased for liking a book
“Don’t fret, little Becky,” consoles THE INDIAN
“You’re not a bad person for liking Twilight.”
“I’m so sorry people hate you so much.”
THE INDIAN sees nothing wrong with this series.
If nobody else cared about the racist depictions of Indians,
Why should THE INDIAN care?
THE INDIAN can’t wait for the HD Remake of Custer’s Revenge
Little Becky will have a new forbidden love story to gush over.
“Let teenage white girls like things, you misogynists!”

THE INDIAN does everything you want
THE INDIAN was the perfect ally
THE INDIAN was the best an Indian can be
THE INDIAN said all the right things
THE INDIAN made all the right friends.
THE INDIAN validates everything you have to say
THE INDIAN doesn’t make waves
THE INDIAN doesn’t argue or disagree with you
THE INDIAN has your back when other Indians have beef with you
THE INDIAN values you over themselves.

So can THE INDIAN have her land back now?
Reparations? Clean water? Electricity?
Can she have her children back?
Can she get a national inquiry about her missing sisters?
Can you stop abusing her?
Can you stop raping her?
Can you stop killing her?
Can you stop incarcerating her?
Can you stop pressuring her to get her tubes tied?
Can you stop building that pipeline in her family’s cemetery?
Can you stop shooting her with rubber bullets and mace?

No?

You’d rather take and take from her
Until she no longer exists?
You think she’d let you destroy her
While you end up happier than ever?
No fucking way, Cool Girl.
You don’t get to win.

You don’t get to have us on our knees
With our hands and tongues out
Like some Land O Lakes Indian
Begging you for crumbs like Eucharist wafers

You don’t get to forge THE INDIAN of your dreams.

We are here, all of us, as we are

Whether you like it or not.

A Guide For Non-Natives on Orange Shirt Day

I’m going to make this very brief. This is a difficult day for indigenous communities throughout Turtle Island. Every single one of us is impacted by the cultural genocide of residential schools and ongoing colonial violence at the hands of the church and state. Its impact cannot be overstated nor can it be overlooked. 

This isn’t so much a guide on “how to be a better ally” and more “how can I help a friend who is grieving,” because that is what this is. Your friends, your neighbors, are grieving their mothers, fathers, grandparents, cousins, aunties, uncles, people they knew and loved and people they never got the chance to know and love.

Approach this day with this mindset: we are grieving, we are in mourning, and unfortunately that makes us a target for the truly malicious.

Follow Indigenous people on social media

I understand and sympathize with wanting to help but not knowing where to begin. This can feel overwhelming. Luckily, I’m indigenous. If you’re here, you’re already taking the first step. I don’t claim to be an expert on all indigenous issues, but I follow many people with different perspectives. 

Here I am on Twitter: https://twitter.com/AliNahdee

Here are the people I follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/AliNahdee/followers

Go through that list. Look for indigenous journalists, content creators, actors, activists, writers, people from different tribes and nations. Visit their pages. Look at what they share. What news sources do they follow? Are they critical of any news source, politician, or corporation?

Nobody is perfect, problematic content may come up, but at least it’s a start.

Educate yourself on Native history and current issues:

After you’ve followed Native folks on social media, try to keep in the loop on what is happening in their communities. You can only get this information from other natives since there’s usually very little (if any) national coverage about Native issues. Find books written by Native scholars, journalists and activists. Memoirs by other native authors are often ripe with information about specific tribes, nations, cultures, and personal experiences. 

Seek out documentaries, interviews, and livestreams covering events like Standing Rock and The Oka Crisis. Follow indigenous climate activists, and encourage others to learn about them as well. Learn about Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (MMIW) and push for justice for their families. Learn about the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA), the foster care system, forced sterilization of Native women that persists to this day, among other issues. 

More importantly, know that your church and your government have blood on their hands. Now is not the time to debate or argue about that. Learn where politicians and clergy stand on residential schools. Believe survivors of these schools and relatives of those who did not survive. 

Donate to Native Venmos, Paypal, GoFundMe, etc.

If you frequent Native social media, eventually you will see Cash Apps and fundraisers being boosted and retweeted. If you haven’t come across any, The Aila Test has a specific tag (Natives Helping Natives) for boosting any Native American / First Nations / Indigenous folks who need financial help. This ranges from helping someone pay their bills or groceries or helping to fund an indigenous documentary or donating to legal funds to help Water Protectors. 

If you can’t donate, share. It only takes two seconds and makes a world of difference. 

https://the-aila-test.tumblr.com/tagged/natives+helping+natives

BUY ORANGE SHIRTS ONLY FROM NATIVES

This is crucial. Any time you buy something for an indigenous cause, make sure your money goes directly to a Native person. It is unacceptable for a non-Native to make and sell their own Orange Shirt Day shirts. Do not buy Orange Shirts from any retail store. 100% of the funds for Orange Shirts must go to Native people. 

Homepage

www.dreamcatcherpromotions.com

www.indspire.ca

www.nishtees.ca

www.rezonanceprinting.ca

www.napash-arts.ca

www.turtlelodgetradingpost.ca

www.mikmaqprinting.com

www.kwekreations.com 

Some Natives sell Orange Shirts on Etsy, but again (I cannot stress this enough) make sure the seller is indigenous before you give them your money. 

Call out anti-native racism without tagging your native friends.

This one is crucial, especially for today.

Imagine that your mother died and people were saying horrible things about her. Imagine if your friend saw the terrible things being said about your mother and instead of confronting the person saying it, they told you about it so that you could tell them off. That would be cruel, wouldn’t it? Insensitive? Adding more unnecessary pain to someone going through the worst possible day of their life? When all you could have done was say “This is my friend, they are hurting, they are in mourning, fuck you for causing them more harm.” 

You’re not whiteknighting. You’re not speaking over Natives. You’re not some “social justice warrior who got triggered.” There’s nothing wrong with saying exactly that and then reporting and blocking the person if it will spare a Native person the pain and trauma of seeing anti-native racism.

Check in on your Native friends.

I would encourage you to check in on your friends throughout October and November since that season is ripe with anti-native racism.

Today however, make sure to take the time to send them some love. Send a gift, share a song you like, share a video you found on Youtube or Tiktok that made you laugh, ask them how they’re doing, invite them to hang out if they’re up for it. Again, treat this day like their loved one died. How do you console a friend who is grieving? Small kindnesses go a very long way.

If you don’t have Native friends, in the wise words of Willie Jack: “Get some then, fuck.”

What Happens When Your Parent Dies

 

On September 4th 2021, my mom will have been gone for two years. 

The moment she called me and told me that she was sick with stage four pancreatic cancer, everything changed. Not all of it was horrible, but the things that were, were. I’m not going to share the intimate details of my mother’s final years of life. What I share, I share with the hope that one day it will be a source of help and comfort to someone who ends up in this situation.

 I understand if this is a post you’d rather skip. I also understand that not everybody has the same relationship with their parents as I did with mine. This will not be a one size fits all sort of post. I’m sorry if I can’t be of help to you, but hopefully it will help you be of help to someone else when the time comes. 

Because they will need your help. 

Painting Oppression in White Face: How The Handmaid’s Tale Appropriates Racism Against Black, Indigenous, Women of Color

CONTENT WARNING: This essay discusses all four seasons of The Handmaid’s Tale and addresses severely triggering content. This includes racism, sexual assault, Islamophobia, anti-Native racism, anti-blackness, slavery, female genital mutilation, residential schools, forced assimiliation, and the Holocaust. Please be gentle with yourself if you choose to read, or do not read at all if these topics are too much.

I’ve heard many comments, compliments and complaints about The Handmaid’s Tale but one that I keep seeing over and over again never fails to piss me off:

“Gilead is terrible but at least they’re not racist!” 

What show have you been watching for four seasons?

Highlights of 2020

To say that 2020 was a handful is a bit of an understatement. My mother passed away in September of 2019, so prior to the New Year we had to celebrate all of our first holidays without her and I became the caretaker for my elderly father. Then in January 2020, my wonderful cat Kesä developed an untreatable tumor in his throat. This was the first time I’ve ever had to put down a pet. And then a global pandemic put me out of work and all the while, Donald Trump and his supporters became increasingly unbearable all the way up to the 2020 election.It has been an exceedingly difficult year. Just reliving it through my writing was physically exhausting. 

But that doesn’t mean good things didn’t happen.

 In a year that was so devastating to so many people, I have to acknowledge both the good things that have happened in this year and my gratitude for it. I’ve learned that the act of writing can be an act of reciprocity: acknowledging the gifts you’ve been given and sending it back out into the world. It is important to bask in your gratitude, accept your gifts with love, and then share your story and your gift to others. It is an act of healing and one I think we are all in dire need of. 

Ya Girl is A TikTok Addict:

@alinahdee

don’t dress up as Pocahontas #Halloween #pocahontas #matoaka #leavematoakaalone #ndn #nativetiktok #nativeamerican #culturalappropriation #cats #cat

♬ original sound – Ali Nahdee

I graduated from college with a major in Electronic Media and Film. Before then, my only experience with video editing was using Windows Movie Maker to make AMVs (anime music videos) and post them on Youtube. I was the only person in my family with this kind of education: my parents were older and my older sisters weren’t tech-savvy. With no mentor to really show me how to navigate the equipment and software, I was never able to get quality editing software outside of school. 

I knew I had potential even if I didn’t have the equipment. Editing speaks a language I feel that I understand quite well. Now that I’m older, I understand how the only way to get better is to start off rough but to keep playing, keep experimenting, and to watch how you progress. I also love cosplay. I love having an opportunity to dress up, put on make up, play a character for a brief time, re-enact scenes from movies or games or shows. And since COVID-19 completely destroyed any chance to attend a convention, TikTok pulled through. 

TikTok challenges me in ways that other apps haven’t. I love the creative element of it, how I can use it for skits, journalism, vlogging, challenges, all of which must be done in under a minute. It forces you to cut right to the chase, so you must be creative but efficient. And then I discovered Duets, where you and other creators can react to each other or do a skit together. And it didn’t take long for me to get out my props and costumes and make up and get right to work.

When I thought I was embarrassing myself (especially with my more sexier videos) my friend asked me two important questions:

Is it giving you serotonin?

Is it hurting anybody?

And that is what I’m going to live by. Are my videos cringy? Maybe. But I’m at a time in my life when I’m finally comfortable with my body and my sexuality and can express myself artistically and sensually. I am happy to make them, I have fun making them, and nobody is getting hurt. So as long as the app is available I’ll happily keep using it and hopefully will keep getting better at it.

I Became An NDN Bookworm:

If one good thing came out of being out of work for a good portion of the year, it was having time to actually read the books I’ve been hoarding. Between grieving, working, and being a caretaker, there’s very little time in the day to read for leisure. I’m happy that I made the time to do it. Every time I poured myself a cup of coffee in the morning, I dedicated time to read at least one chapter. If the book was REALLY good, I read more. 

I dedicated my time spent in quarantine reading books by so many amazing indigenous women. Their stories spoke to me on a personal level that I hadn’t experienced in ages. They broke my heart with their pain and vulnerability and they gave me hope with their strength to go on living and healing. I reflected deeply on my identity as a Native woman and my duty to myself, my family, and my environment. I love all of these women even if I’ve never met them personally. Thank you for sharing your stories with me.

Personal favorites include: 

A Mind Spread Out On The Ground by Alicia Elliott

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Storm of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline

Crazy Brave by Joy Harjo

An American Sunrise by Joy Harjo 

In My Own Moccasins by Helen Knott

Bad Indians by Deborah A. Miranda 

#SavePikku saves Pikku:

In June 2020, my baby nephew opened up my front door and Pikku, my 1 year old gray tabby that I adopted after Kesä died, darted out of the house and went missing for about 40 minutes. When she returned, her belly had been torn open. The vets are unable to tell us if she had been attacked by another animal, a person, or was caught on something and tore herself free.  The vet costs were astronomical and had a possibility of doubling depending on how severe her condition was and whether or not it would worsen. I did not know if she was going to survive. I was devastated.

What happened next was one of the greatest, humbling displays of love I’ve ever experienced. I reached out online: Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, to all of my friends and family members and told them of the incident. And then they told their friends about it.

 Soon the hashtag #SavePikku was used to help bring attention to the fundraiser and donations came in from both the people I love and complete strangers whom I’ve never met. Fundraisers were held on Twitch streams, and donations poured in to my GoFundMe and Paypal from my mutuals and followers on The Aila Test, including one wonderful angel of a human being who donated $1700. 

Pikku’s vet stays, her tests, her treatments, bandaging, and medicine were all covered by that overwhelming amount of love and generosity. And she is entering this new year healthy, happy, and loved.

This is especially humbling when I know very well that asking for help during this time wasn’t ideal. I felt selfish. How could I ask for help in the middle of a pandemic where so many people, myself included, were out of work? Or had people in the hospital who were sick? I went in knowing that this was probably hopeless, that perhaps people would care enough to boost the GoFundMe and the Paypal link but not be able to make any donations. 

And all of you surprised me. All of you were so wonderful. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fully repay you for everything you did for my sweet girl. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Shea Vassar’s article about The Aila Test:

I created The Aila Test on Tumblr when I was living in Finland in 2016. It gained a small followed on Tumblr for analyzing the way indigenous women are portrayed in mainstream media. It’s hard to argue that something isn’t a problem when you have enough evidence and examples that display a certain disturbing pattern. Not only are indigenous women rarely a main character, but even if they are, they’re usually the lover of a white man and experience sexual violence, death, or both. 

I knew that the test was special to the people who followed the blog and made contributions, but I didn’t realize just how important it was beyond that. Not until Shea Vassar asked to interview me about it for High Country News.

First of all, Shea is wonderful. I loved talking to her over the phone. There’s something really special when two native women are allowed to be open, honest, and vulnerable with each other but it’s so much fun when you two can geek out over so many great (and sometimes not so great) movies, video games, cartoons, etc. We talked about why representation is so important for indigenous women and girls, what sort of characters we would love to see, and I believe the interview really reflects the excitement and happiness between us.

What we didn’t expect was for the interview to really take off on Twitter. Everybody was retweeting and sharing, commenting on it, posting about it on other social media handles. Other actors and writers were sharing it, NativeTwitter geeked out over some of their favorite movies or books being shouted out. Even the ABC in Australia reached out for an interview, which drove my Australian friends absolutely crazy. 

I knew I would be truly moved and honored if other indigenous people had loved The Aila Test. However, I didn’t expect the large number of non-indigenous people who supported the test and what it means to us. That indigenous women and girls deserve to see themselves represented in a better way and to really change our understanding of what we think indigenous women are and what they can do.

The Bechdel Cast’s Episode on Frozen 2:

As an indigenous woman who spends an enormous amount of time talking about the representation of indigenous women in mainstream media, I rant about Disney’s Pocahontas A LOT. It’s always a hot topic any time it’s brought up. 

Throughout this year, several monuments and statues dedicated to colonizers and slaveowners were being removed by many BIPOC protestors and activists. I took to Twitter and said that since we’re on a roll, we may as well tell Disney to remove Pocahontas from their Princess franchise due to the film’s disrespectful and racist portrayal of the historical figure and indigenous people within the United States. It blew up immediately from people for and against the notion. It was then that The Bechdel Cast reached out to me and asked if I would like to be a guest on their podcast to talk about the film.

I told them respectfully that since I wasn’t Mattaponi / Pamunkey that it probably wasn’t my place to really speak about it. I pointed them in the direction of a Mattaponi woman who could probably offer insight and historical context that I wouldn’t have. However, I told them that I would absolutely love to come on the show and talk about Frozen II. Instant history was made, at least for me! Caitlin Durante and Jaime Loftus invited me to their podcast and the three of us geeked out for two hours about the surprisingly superior sequel to Disney’s Frozen. 

The film resonated with me as a white-passing indigenous woman who is also reconnecting with a heritage and a history that was taken from me and my family. Iduna, the sisters’ doomed mother from the first film, was an assimilated indigenous woman who had to hide who she was in order to survive in the kingdom of her enemies. This is a similar story to many indigenous people, whose parents and grandparents were separated from their homes and cultures and were forced to give up parts of who they were. I told them about the time I spent in Finland and the history of colonialism against Sami people, whom the Northuldra are inspired by.  We talked about the allusions to environmental destruction and how that is a direct result of colonialism.

By the end of the episode I feel that everybody had learned something new. When it aired, the love and hype for the episode and the conversation we had was overwhelming! People were looking at the film in a completely different way. There was a depth and history that was suddenly taken into consideration upon future viewings. I was really happy to be part of the conversation. I am so proud of the episode and beyond thankful for Caitlin and Jaime for inviting me on their show

Attending My First Black Lives Matter Protests: 

In case you didn’t know, I have absolute faith in the young people of this generation. I cannot sing enough praises to the young folks who are having honest conversations with themselves about who they are, what sort of world they want to live in, and how they will not be quiet in the face of injustice. 

When Black Lives Matter protests began in the Detroit area after the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, I chose to march in solidarity as a white and Indigenous woman. I didn’t expect people from all walks of life to be there: old and young, every race, people of various gender identities, and we all came together several times throughout the summer to make our voices heard. 

With unity also came backlash. Counter-protesters came with concealed firearms to shout racial slurs and other obscenities at us, a driver threw their drink at us, and most frightening of all was a hit-and-run that nearly injured a man on his bike. Nobody was hurt but it scared the hell out of all of us, and the apathetic response of the police department left us feeling melancholy but not broken. 

At a time when the past four years were filled with hate speech, hate crimes, police brutality, and people unapologetically displaying their bigotry, this seemed to give us some power back. It isn’t enough to stand in silence and anger and disgust. Sometimes you need to draw a line in the sand and make your stand. 

As protests continue Downriver, attendees urge an end to apathy, racism

Apartment Therapy’s Article About My Room

Maddie Bilis reached out to me with a freelance writing assignment for ApartmentTherapy called Love Letters To the Home. Maddie is also the most patient and understanding person I’ve had to work with because a simple writing assignment had turned me into an emotional wreck and she helped me work through it. I would not have been able to do it without her encouragement and kindness.

Originally I was supposed to write a love letter to my actual house. My childhood home that saw me through every happy and heartbreaking moment of my life. Every single room as well as the front and back yards all held such significance in my life. How could I possibly begin to talk about the house that built me? Could words even begin to do it justice how in such a short amount of time our worlds changed and our home changed with it? It was a daunting, emotional task and Maddie gave me the support I needed to pull through and cross the finish line.

The result was a love letter to my room. The comfort it has brought me during this difficult time in my life. What started off as just another place for me to lay my head suddenly became an expression of myself and who I am. I was proud of myself for finishing the project. It taught me not to give up on myself and that sometimes downsizing and simplifying things is better. It doesn’t mean it isn’t still filled to the brim with love. 

And last but not least….

My Family Is Closer Than Ever

It’s impossible to come out at the end of this year without acknowledging the most important accomplishment of all: my family and I are stronger and closer than ever before. 

We were all together when my mother died. She was surrounded by the people she loved the most and who loved her. Thinking about that morning in September fills me with such unimaginable sorrow. But the love we had for each other kept us alive and kept us together. My sisters work full time and have their own families, so I moved out of my apartment and back into my house to be my father’s caretaker. 

It was a time of many transitions. My father was recovering from time spent in the hospital from having low sodium, needed a vein operational on his legs, and was going through physical therapy in addition to the trauma of my mother’s terminal cancer and subsequent death. He has come such a long way and I cry as I write this because I am so proud of him. The fact that he’s strong enough to go for walks again and dance with my baby niece is a monumental accomplishment. Pikku gives him both company and someone for him to care for when I’m away at work. I like to think that they helped heal each other when they were both going through their own battles.

My sisters and I are now proper partners in crime. They’ve become my mentors, my teachers, and my emotional support. They’re there for me to talk to when I’m stressed or overwhelmed and they trust me with their vulnerabilities now that I’m older and wise enough to listen with compassion and without judgment. My baby niece and nephews teach me patience and bring so much love and happiness into the room whenever they come over. Our holidays without Mom may have been difficult, but the babies kept them fun and full of magic.

My older nieces are growing up and learning who they are and what they want. I’m inspired by their determination, their creativity, their intelligence. They’re who I wish I could’ve been when I was their age. It was an honor to watch them grow from children into young women. 

I know the future isn’t set in stone. So much is going on in the world right now and so many things can change in an instant. All I can do is hope for the best for all of us and express my gratitude. I am so very thankful for the gifts that came to me this year. In the midst of all the madness and the sorrow and the chaos, there was still love and light and hope. I will hold onto that forever. 

Thank you. 

Now let’s go into 2021 with all of our strength.

Night and Day

My nieces had a huge bag of empty lighters that they didn’t want to throw away, so we decided to paint them.

Mother’s Sunset

The last gift I gave to my mother. A sunset on a beach with two palm trees. She loved it so much. I’m happy she was able to see it before she passed away.